My depression is like knowing what you want to say but not having the words to say it.
It makes me sad, scared and exhausted.
It's like a deep nagging, which keeps coming back.
It's like a wasp trapped under a glass;
No-one to share problems and secrets with.
My depression is like cooking a wonderful meal with no-one to congratulate the effort.
It's a never ending tunnel.
Why?
She moves slowly,
Creeping, Crawling,
Trying to find another way in,
She can't find the answer
of what's to come next.
But she keeps trying,
sighing, panting,
frustrated.
Life's so cruel.
No-one can help her,
She's older than she should be,
Younger than she feels,
Being with him is the only way out.
But life says that's wrong.
Soon it'll be over, soon he'll leave,
It makes no difference,
She's changed,
She can't go back.
So you see there's no way out.
She needs to know why
She feels like she does.
Obsession?
I'm sitting
I'm looking
I'm standing
I'm watching
I'm staring
I'm following
I'm hurting
I'm closing in
I'm crying out
I'm grasping hold
I'm falling hard
I'm turning round
I'm walking away
I've lost
She
She looks old and frail.
She cowers.
Her head is bent forward,
afraid,
cold,
ashamed.
Hope left her long ago.
Maybe the past has something to desire
but the future looks bare.
A frown covers her forehead,
hair strewn over her face.
Her thick winters jacket hides her fragile body.
Her hands are dirty and mis-shaped.
She holds her life in her hands,
looking longingly at the drug she carries,
As her life withers away in front of her eyes.
Deja-vu
I'm here, but don't realise,
Just watching,
Not participating.
As the ground becomes the sky,
The sky becomes an ocean,
Blue swirls of fresh clear colour,
Clearer then a cloudless sky.
Voices surround me,
None having any effect.
Except one now, one I could listen to forever.
But not now,
Now I am alone
And happy this way.
The world is full of colours
Yet when they open
It seems little less than a mishapen blur of confusion.
I am touched,
Shock runs through my motionless body.
The touch becomes tender,
And the scene one of peace,
As my eyes roll back and darkness enters my blood stream.
